


Rehabilitation

by SailorChibi



Series: wanda's curse verse [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst with feels, Apologies, Break Downs, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Divorce, Domestic Avengers, Gen, Hugging, I don't know what these pairings will be in the end, I hate wanda, Ignores Civil War, Insecure Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, M/M, Mind Control, No character bashing, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Not Wanda Friendly, Panic Attacks, Phil Coulson lives, Platonic friendships, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Science Bros, Strong Friendships, Talk of Mind Control, Team as Family, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, aftereffects of brainwashing, aftereffects of mind control, breaking up, bruce banner returns, but if you like wanda I wouldn't read this, clint barton is breaking apart, clint barton is not okay, forcing characters to take responsibility for their actions, no one wants to be around wanda, or at least a hopeful ending, or at least charles xavier might, steve rogers apologizes, talk of brainwashing, the xmen may make a cameo appearance, vision does not want to be around wanda, wanda hates tony, wanda maximoff gets exiled, wanda maximoff needs to learn some control
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-02-03 17:54:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12753255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorChibi/pseuds/SailorChibi
Summary: Even though the Avengers are now aware that Wanda was brainwashing them to make them hate Tony, that doesn't mean everything is sunshine and roses again. Wanda's curse might be broken, but the effects - especially on Tony - are long-lasting.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a commission which picks up immediately after Cognitive Recalibration. Finally, the long awaited sequel!

Two hours to the exact minute that the curse had been removed, Natasha jerked awake. She sat up halfway in her bed, face so pale and tinged with green that Steve reacted automatically. He shoved a basin under her face just in time, then grimaced and looked away politely as she lost whatever she’d eaten that day. His own headache still lingered, and that was with the serum. Natasha and the others would probably be feeling the after effects for days.

“Steve… Steve, what –” Her words came out as a panicked rasp and Steve turned back to her, suddenly grateful that he’d opted to sit with Natasha instead of Rhodes, Sam or Clint. He’d known her long enough to know that Natasha’s fight-or-flight instinct was stronger than most; nine times out of ten, she would go with fight. But every once in a while, that flight instinct would send her packing. Judging by the frantic way her eyes were darting around, this could’ve been – might still be – the tenth time.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he said gently, setting the full basin aside and taking her cold hand. “You’re okay. You might be dizzy and have a headache for a little while. Upset stomach goes hand-in-hand with that, I guess. You want something to sip? Ginger ale?” He waited for her nod before reaching for the glass sitting on the nightstand. Natasha always liked flat ginger ale when she was stuck in medical.

She sipped from the glass, cautiously swallowing the mouthful and waiting a few seconds before drinking a bit more. “What happened?” she asked. Her voice was hoarse, like she’d been screaming. 

“Wanda cursed us,” Steve said, deciding that being blunt was best. “From day one, she was manipulating us.” Fresh anger bubbled beneath his skin. He’d been replaying the look on Tony’s face when he said it would be best if he left for hours. Wanda may have been the cause, but Steve, Natasha, Clint, Sam and Rhodes – they were the ones who had put that expression there.

Natasha’s lips tipped down into a frown and she closed her eyes. Steve remained quiet, even though it was hard. He wanted to surge to his feet and rant about how unfair and twisted everything was now. He wanted to hit something, preferably Wanda although he would settle for a punching bag now that she was out of reach. He wanted Natasha to say something, anything. 

Finally, she did. “Ultron wasn’t Tony’s fault.” She sounded matter-of-fact, but also puzzled. “Why did we think it was? Bruce and Thor both had a hand in creating him. So did the scepter, for that matter.”

“Wanda wanted us to think that it was, because she blamed Tony for everything else,” Steve replied. That was yet another thing that made no sense in retrospect. How could he have believed that Tony was responsible for killing Wanda’s parents? That was pure idiocy. Tony hadn’t set off the bomb that killed them, hadn’t even made a weapon, much less a bomb, in years. 

For that matter, it was entirely likely that Tony hadn’t even sold the bomb. If the bomb had been actual Stark Industries product, and now that Steve was thinking clearly he had his doubts about that, there was another person culpable. Stark Industries had hushed up a lot of Obadiah Stane’s black market dealing, but the Avengers, especially Steve, knew how far-reaching that had been. It wasn’t Tony’s fault that’d been betrayed by someone he trusted. Stane had pulled the wool over the eyes of far more people than just Tony.

But Wanda had. No matter what anyone said or what evidence was set down before her, her anger was reserved solely for Tony, as though Tony was the God who made the world go ‘round. In retrospect, Steve could see that, for someone she hated, Wanda had ascribed a lot of power and influence to just one man. It wasn’t possible for Tony to have done even half the things that she claimed he had.

And the worst part of it was that everything she’d said seemed so _logical_. Steve hadn’t once thought that maybe she was wrong because the time he’d spent with Tony had proven that Tony was not the person she claimed he was. He hadn’t considered the fact that inviting Wanda to join the team had meant losing two valued members, or that she was more dangerous than helpful in the field. He hadn’t thought about _anything_.

“Phil,” Natasha breathed suddenly, one hand flying out to grip Steve’s arm painfully tight. Her eyes were wide. “Did I see…”

“Yes. He’s alive.”

“I need to see him,” Natasha said. She started to throw back the covers.

“Whoa, I don’t think you should stand up so soon.”

“I need to see him,” Natasha repeated, this in a tone that allowed for zero arguments. She stared Steve down until he gave in with a nod, rounding the bed to help her stand. Natasha swayed when she was on her feet, but she stiffened her spine and refused to sit. She took one unsteady step after another out the door.

Phil and Laura were in Clint’s room, one of them on each side of the bed. Phil stood when he saw Natasha and said something quiet to Laura, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze. He nodded to Steve as he walked past to face Natasha. Steve decided to give them a moment of privacy and stepped into Clint’s room, closing the door behind him. He was pretty sure he saw Natasha slap Phil across the face before he did, but refrained from interfering. Phil could handle it.

“How is he?” Steve asked, glancing at Clint’s body. Like Natasha, it looked as though Clint was merely sleeping.

“Still the same. If Natasha’s awake, it’s only a matter of time,” Laura said, attempting a smile. She’d been crying, Steve could tell, and his heart ached for her. He could only imagine what it must have been like all those months, constantly trying to contact Clint and either receiving replies that showed a complete lack of care or worse, no replies at all. 

Thank god, Steve reflected as he sat, that Clint was the only one of them with a family. He could see now how Wanda had drawn all of their attention to her, until the only things that seemed to matter were the people who existed within the compound. Steve had even stopped searching for Bucky. But at least Steve hadn’t had a wife and children who were depending on him, like Clint did. He couldn’t imagine.

“I never thanked you for the texts you sent me,” Steve said. 

Laura looked at him in surprise. “Thank me? What do you mean?”

“After I got conked on the head, I didn’t know what to do. I knew that what was happening at the compound wasn’t right, but it was like I couldn’t do anything about it. I didn’t have anyone impartial to talk to until I saw your text. It was… good.” He fumbled a little, embarrassed at how difficult words could be. Good couldn’t begin to describe the relief he’d felt that someone else was reaching out to him.

“Oh. Well, you were kind of a last resort,” Laura said. “Like I said, Natasha was ignoring my texts completely and Clint…” She sighed, reaching out to touch Clint’s arm. “If it weren’t for our weekly phone calls, I would’ve thought a different person was texting me back. It used to be that he would send me dozens of texts while he was on a mission, even when he wasn’t supposed to. Now I’m lucky to get a word or two back for every fifteen texts I send.”

“That will change now,” Steve told her.

“Will it?” Laura asked, not looking at him. “I appreciate the confidence, but I feel like I don’t even know my own husband anymore. And I think that goes far beyond the effects of whatever Wanda did.” Her voice broke and Steve shifted uncomfortably, glancing at the door. Unfortunately, it didn’t open.

“I think we just have to give it time,” Steve said finally, thinking about Tony and how much of a mess things were between them now. That was maybe 10% Tony’s fault and easily 90% Steve’s fault. He could remember times Tony had tried talking to him, calling him, texting him, emailing him. Steve had brushed off every one, usually with a snide remark or callous comment. Towards the end, he’d flat-out ignored them. There was no way Tony was going to reach out now. The ball was entirely in Steve’s court, but he had no idea how to fix things.

Laura sighed again and didn’t answer, hunching forward and staring at Clint like she could will him to wake up through the force of her stare. Steve sat with them for about ten more minutes until the door opened again and Natasha and Phil came into the room. Laura immediately rose and pulled Natasha into a hug. Steve took the chance to slip out of the room.

He checked on Sam and Rhodes, but neither of them were awake yet and showed no signs of waking anytime soon. Natasha was probably only awake out of sheer stubbornness. Steve wanted to sit with them for a while, but he had something important to do first. He had made a promise to Tony to call when someone woke up, and come hell or high water he was never going to break a promise to Tony Stark again for as long as he lived.

It was a cold night, but Steve didn’t mind. He found a bench just outside the main doors and sat, pulling his phone out. His Starkphone, and wasn’t it funny that, for all Wanda’s hatred, she’d never stopped using Stark equipment? Never stopped eating food or sleeping in a bed purchased by a Stark? If anything, Steve could vividly remember her complaining that the accommodations at the compound – all paid for by Tony’s dime – were lacking. Apparently her rage only went as far as her sense of entitlement.

It only occurred to him then that Tony might not answer. Steve swallowed hard as he dialed the number that was, thankfully, still etched into his memory. Tony would have every right to refuse their calls after how they’d treated him. Some of the things that Steve could remember saying to Tony’s face made him feel sick with shame. Not to mention the things he’d stood back and allowed the rest of the team to say and do.

“Hello?”

He’d answered. Steve was speechless for a few seconds.

“Hello? Steve? Is something wrong?” Tony asked, sounding concerned.

“Tony,” Steve croaked, relief and gratitude all bound up into one word, but still not approaching even a tenth of what he was feeling at the moment. He was so goddamn thankful for Tony’s never-ending loyalty and generosity that he could have cried.

“Steve. Are you okay?”

Steve shook his head. The Avengers didn’t really deserve what they got from Tony, but that kind of attitude wouldn’t help. He had to pull it together. “I’m fine. I just wanted you to know that Natasha woke up.”

“Oh.” Tony was quiet for a moment. “How… how is she?”

“I’m pretty sure I saw her slap Phil across the face,” Steve admitted, just to hear the faint huff of laughter that earned him. 

“I can’t blame her for that. I wanted to do the same thing. He’s lucky that Bucky was with me.”

Hearing Tony say Bucky’s name in such a fond way made a new burst of affection swell in Steve’s chest. At the same time, it hurt. He’d made the choice to leave Tony out of what happened during SHIELD’s fall. But that hadn’t stopped him from wondering what it might be like see the two of them interact. He’d known that they would get along well... and apparently Tony had moved on from what the Winter Soldier had done. Did he and Bucky even know that Steve knew?

He pushed aside that guilt for now. “Yeah, he was. I am too. Thank you, Tony, for looking after him.”

“Actually, it’s more the other way around. Between him and Vision, I hardly get a moment’s peace. There’s always someone in my face demanding that I eat more.”

Once that had been Steve’s job. He took a deep breath. “Good.”

An awkward silence hung in the air for a moment. Then Tony broke it by saying, “Strange confirmed that he dropped Maximoff off with Xavier. I have a conference call with them in ten minutes.”

“Okay,” Steve whispered. He couldn’t blame Tony for not wanting to stay on the line with him. It had been a long day for all of them. “Did you want me to tell Natasha to call you? She’s in with Laura and Phil right now, waiting for Clint to wake up.”

“I’d rather not,” Tony said after a pause. “I… I might come for a visit in a couple days. Maybe. Bucky keeps asking what the compound looks like.”

“We’d love to have you,” Steve said gently. “You’re always welcome here.”

“Thanks Steve. I have to go.” 

Tony hung up while Steve was still sitting there, pointless words still caught in his throat. At least Tony hadn’t hung up on him. At least he’d talked to Steve for a couple minutes. At least he’d brought up visiting the compound. It seemed like a poor comfort when Steve remembered how things had been after the Battle of New York. The Avengers had felt like a family. A _real_ family. But then there was the Mandarin and Thor left and the fall of SHIELD and Fury’s “death” and Bucky, and things fell apart. 

His throat was tight. He lowered his head, holding his phone tight, and whispered, “I’ll make this better somehow, Tony. I promise.”


	2. Chapter 2

Tony hung up the phone and immediately bent double, feeling like the breath had been punched out of him. Talking to Steve again was much harder than he’d expected it would be: it was hard to let go of the feeling that he needed to be constantly on guard. Hearing Steve talk to Tony the way he’d always talked to the other Avengers, with actual warmth and friendliness, was a shock to the system.

“Boss, are you okay?” FRIDAY asked. “Shall I call Bucky or Vision?”

“No, I’m fine,” Tony said, closing his eyes. He forced himself to inhale and exhale to the count of five, determinedly pushing away any thoughts of how twisted this whole situation was, until the vice grip around his chest eased. But even then he couldn’t rid of some of the more pressing questions.

Natasha was awake. She was mad at Phil, which was fair enough. Tony hadn’t been lying when he’d told Steve that it was fortunate Bucky had accompanied him to Laura’s. Seeing Phil again had brought up a whole range of emotion Tony wasn’t prepared for. Shock, betrayal, renewed grief… it would be a long time before Tony would be able to trust Phil Coulson again, if ever.

But the real question was, did Natasha still hate Tony? He didn’t know the answer to that – and frankly, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know. Steve hadn’t really said much about her, and, even though Tony ached to know, he wasn’t brave enough to ask. He couldn’t imagine a worse scenario than finding out that removing Wanda’s influence hadn’t made a difference and the Avengers still hated him. There was a truth to the saying “ignorance is bliss”.

Unfortunately, Tony had committed himself to finding out by telling Steve that he was thinking about visiting the compound. He knew what Steve was like. Once Tony had opened himself up to the possibility of something, Steve was like a relentless hound. One way or the other, Tony was going to have to see Steve, Natasha, Clint, Sam and Rhodey face to face very shortly. 

“Damn my big mouth,” he muttered, rubbing at his temples. He had a headache now, though whether it was from his brief panic or from a lack of sleep it was hard to say. He should’ve just accepted the offer for Natasha to call. At least over the phone, he could hang up if the call went sideways and not have to worry about immediate retaliation. 

Not that it had ever gotten physical between them. It hadn’t. Tony was capable of defending himself despite what other people assumed about him. He’d taken plenty of self-defence classes over the years (a necessity when the first time you were kidnapped was at age three). But he was also aware that Natasha and Clint were highly trained agents and Steve was a supersoldier. Had one of them decided to kill him, nothing short of the suit would’ve stopped them – and maybe not even that.

He shuddered at the thought and turned away from his desk, wishing that he could go lay down. But he really did have a conference call with Xavier and Strange. Tony needed to make sure that a) Wanda was safely at the Institute, b) her powers were still bound, and c) she wouldn’t be escaping anytime soon. He wouldn’t be able to sleep until that was done.

So he initiated the call, listening to the sound of the dial tone, until it was picked up and Xavier said, “Good evening, Tony.”

“Still creepy,” Tony said automatically, knowing that Xavier didn’t have Caller I.D. like most people. He didn’t need it.

Xavier chuckled. “Yes, so you’ve told me. Dr. Strange is here with me.”

“I’ve delivered the package,” Strange said before Tony had to ask. “Her powers are still bound.”

Tony closed his eyes. Thank god. “I assume she was still angry.”

“She tried to punch Logan,” Xavier said mildly. Tony choked on a laugh, shocked. He wished he could’ve been there to see that. Out of all the people at the Institute that you could get away with lashing out at, Logan was definitely _not_ one of them.

“You’re going to have your hands full,” he said instead.

“Indeed. I would say that it’s something I’m used to, but the circumstances surrounding this particular case are unusual. I believe that we can train Wanda in the use of her powers so that she is no longer a danger to herself or others, but my bigger concern is for her current state of mind. Would you be opposed to having a professional psychologist meet with her?” Xavier asked.

“Whatever you feel that you need to do. I’m not in charge of her,” Tony said, skin crawling at the thought. He wanted to be as hands-off with Wanda as he could. He didn’t even like the idea of funding her time at Xavier’s after everything she’d done. But realistically, he didn’t have much choice. Xavier didn’t have the money to keep her there indefinitely without someone else footing the bill, not with all of the other students he had to support, and Wanda had no money of her own. 

The alternative, which no one had mentioned yet, was sending Wanda to jail for the crimes she’d committed with Hydra and Ultron (and, potentially, for brainwashing the other Avengers). No one had brought charges against her, but that was more due to Tony’s subtle meddling than because a universal decision had been made to let Wanda off scot-free. He was pretty sure that none of the other Avengers, including Wanda herself, realized that it would be very easy to drop her into a hole in the ground and throw away the key.

But Tony could be fair. He’d give her a chance to be rehabilitated. It wasn’t for Wanda’s sake. It was for Steve and the rest of the team. At least this way, Tony could prove that he’d tried. He’d given Wanda every chance. She had to be the one to spit in their faces that one final time. Xavier was the best there was, so no one could say that Tony hadn’t done what he could. And if the Institute was a couple hundred miles away, all the better.

If he were being honest, he didn’t really think that Wanda was capable of it. Putting aside the fact that, in Tony’s opinion, she was a cruel, nasty person who’d never worked at anything except being a Hydra lackey, Wanda depended on other people to support her, using mind control and magic if necessary, and had yet to take responsibility for anything she had done. She seemed to have no understanding of the fact that when you broke the law, which she had multiple times, there were severe penalties involved. To the best of Tony’s knowledge, she hadn’t once expressed remorse for anything she had done.

Jail was sounding like a better option by the minute.

“I know you’re not,” Xavier said, tone very kind. Tony flushed a little. He’d been honest with Xavier about Wanda and her abilities. It wasn’t fair, or safe, not to be. Xavier needed to know what Wanda was capable of. But that meant alluding to a lot of things that Tony wasn’t necessarily comfortable with people knowing, and Xavier was more than smart enough to draw his own conclusions.

“An associate of mine has several friends in the psychology field. I can reach out to her and ask her to recommend someone,” said Strange. “Unless there is a mutant you can suggest?”

“It may be best to have a combination. A mutant could understand what it’s like to adjust to unexpected powers, but might have difficulty understanding someone who volunteered for the procedure. The majority of mutants I’ve met universally agree that their lives would be easier without their powers. A human, on the other hand, may be able to understand _why_ Wanda would want to volunteer,” Xavier replied. “Either way, one or preferably both of them will need to be versed in PTSD, particularly obsessions with revenge.”

“Okay, if you guys are going to have this conversation, I’m going to go,” Tony said before Strange could respond. He couldn’t stand here and listen to them dissect Wanda like this. She had mental health problems. Tony got that. He really did. But that was still far more information that he wanted or needed to know.

“Of course. I’ll keep you updated,” said Xavier.

“As will I,” Strange added. “My bindings will not fail.”

“Thanks. See you Tuesday,” Tony said. He hung up the call and stood there for a moment, eyes shut, renewed panic crackling around his body. What if Wanda was rehabilitated? What then? Would Steve insist on her being an Avenger? Would everyone expect Tony to just forgive her? Would he have to choose between having Wanda in his life or cutting her out and thereby cutting Steve and everyone else out too?

“Boss, I’ve contacted Bucky,” FRIDAY announced.

“Damnit FRI,” Tony hissed out between clenched teeth. Counting the numbers wasn’t working so well this time. They kept getting all jumbled up in his brain and he was losing count. His knees trembled and he decided to sit down before he fell down, which had actually happened a handful of times. It was pretty embarrassing to fall on your ass even if you were alone.

He made it to the couch and sank down onto it just as the workshop doors opened to admit Bucky. Bucky’s eyes swept the workshop, immediately cataloguing the open area. It was something he did with every place he walked into, Tony had noticed, and Bucky would only enter if he had assessed the area to be free of danger. Even though it was obviously a holdover from the Winter Soldier, it was oddly comforting.

It wasn’t so comforting when Bucky’s eyes landed on him, because it felt like Bucky could see straight through him. Tony squirmed, trying to hide his badly shaking hands in his sweatshirt. It didn’t work. Bucky stalked over to him, moving like Tony’s panic attack was something that he could kill. Tony had no idea what Bucky was going to say or do – this was so _stupid_ , he needed to pull himself together –

And then Bucky sat down beside him, plunked his metal arm in Tony’s lap, and said, “I can’t feel any sensation in my pinkie finger. Fix it.”

Tony blinked down at the arm for several seconds, unmoving. Bucky didn’t move either, just sat there and waited for Tony to respond. The reasonable thing to do would’ve been to point out that Tony shouldn’t be touching the arm right now, but he’d never been a reasonable man. His hands were shaking so hard he could barely pop one of the metal plates up, but Bucky sat patiently.

The mess of wires – because they were a mess, even with Tony’s careful replacement and improvement – was somehow calming. Tony didn’t touch them, just traced them repeatedly with his eyes. He was intimiately familiar with pretty much every inch of Bucky’s arm now. Bucky didn’t know it, but he’d been experimenting with models and blueprints of new arms since Bucky had first stepped into the workshop. Tony was positive that someday Bucky would want to get rid of the Hydra model, and he wanted to be prepared for that day.

Gradually, the shaking slowed and Tony could breathe more easily. He realized, somewhat belatedly, that he had both hands wrapped around Bucky’s arm so that Bucky couldn’t pull away, and that he’d been staring in silence at the wires for several minutes. God, he was such a fucking mess. Especially since he couldn’t bring himself to actually let go.

“I lied,” Bucky said, wiggling his pinkie finger for emphasis.

That startled a small smile out of Tony. “Yeah, I figured,” he said, and even his voice sounded shaky. “Strange delivered the package.” Even saying the words made his chest and throat tighten up again. 

“Then it’s not your problem anymore,” Bucky said.

“I wish it were that easy.” 

Bucky just looked at him and didn’t say anything else. Tony appreciated that on a whole new level: not very many people understood that sometimes silence was a blessing. It was probably a huge boundary violation, but he couldn’t stop himself from resting his forehead against Bucky’s metal shoulder. The metal was blissfully cool because Hydra was filled with savages who hadn’t bothered to include a temperate modulator. 

“I wish,” Tony said thickly, “that we’d never come across that package at all.”

Bucky’s arm twisted in his grip and Tony let it, fearing Bucky was going to pull away – but no, Bucky settled the metal hand on Tony’s knee and squeezed gently. That one motion, out of everything, made tears spring to Tony’s eyes. He didn’t have the strength to fight them.


	3. Chapter 3

It was close to 3am when an agent called Steve’s phone and informed him that Sam had woken up. Steve got out of bed immediately. He hadn’t been sleeping – couldn’t sleep, not when his brain was jumping from thought to thought faster than he could process – and he was eager to check on his friend. Strange had told him not to wake anyone, that it was important to let them wake naturally, but that was easier said than done.

He made it to the medical bay in under five minutes, pushing open the door to Sam’s room. One of the doctors was standing beside Sam, checking his blood pressure. “Your blood pressure is a little high,” she was saying. “We’ll need to monitor it over the next couple of days, and if it keeps up we might have to up the dosage of your pills.” She unstrapped the device.

“Thanks Doc,” Sam said, idly rubbing at his arm. “Can we have a moment?” He nodded to Steve.

“Of course. I’ll have a nurse get you something to eat.” The doctor smiled at Steve and walked past him. Sam waited until she was gone before she spoke.

“What the _fuck_ , Steve?”

“Sam,” Steve began.

“No! You don’t get to stand there and make excuses. I know you, Steve. That’s your excuses face.” Sam pointed at him accusingly. “You told me that Wanda was safe to be around. You said that she had control over her powers and that she was trustworthy. You said she’d be a good teammate!”

“I thought she would be,” Steve said weakly. In retrospect, it was glaringly obvious that he’d been deep under Wanda’s thrall when they had that conversation. He didn’t know Wanda. He’d only met her about two weeks before he asked her to be a part of the Avengers, and she’d been their enemy for a week of that time. At the time, it made perfect sense: of course Wanda was ready to be an Avenger. She’d helped them fight against Ultron! It hadn’t occurred to him that probably the only reason Wanda had helped with Ultron was because she’d realized Ultron wanted to destroy _all_ of humanity.

“Well she wasn’t,” Sam said, stating the obvious. “I can’t remember the last time I called my mom. She’s probably worried sick about me.”

Steve wilted further, hot shame welling up in his chest. He forgot sometimes that people like Sam and Clint actually had families on the outside. “I’m sorry, Sam. Really, I am. If I’d known that Wanda was using her magic on me, and that she’d do it to you too, I never would’ve asked you to come here. I would’ve told you to stay far away.”

“You were under her control when you asked me to come?” Sam said.

“I think so,” Steve said hesitantly. “I guess I don’t really know that for a fact. But I told you she whammied all of us, remember? Pretty sure that’s when she got her claws in, because she joined us not long after that. And I don’t remember thinking there was anything weird about asking a former Hydra agent to join the Avengers.” Not even when Tony and Bruce, and then Vision, left. Goddamn he’d been stupid.

Sam sighed, standing up. “It creeps me out. The thought of someone else controlling my brain like that…” He shuddered. “She made me hate Tony Stark. Literally _hate him_. I don’t even _know_ Stark! I’ve had maybe four conversations with him that weren’t about my equipment!”

“I know,” Steve said. He didn’t know what else to say. Eventually, he added, “I’m sure Tony will forgive you.”

“That’s not the point, Steve,” Sam said, shooting him a withering look. “And you shouldn’t jump to that kind of conclusion, either. We all said some really nasty things to Stark. I wouldn’t be surprised if he decided that he never wanted to see any of us again.”

“I know,” Steve whispered again, dread and fear coiling together in his gut. He dreaded the day that Tony called to say he was cutting the Avengers out of his life. It could happen so easily, and it would be well-deserved. He was praying that wouldn’t happen, even as he felt terrible for hoping that Tony didn’t. It would certainly be the healthiest thing Tony could do at this point.

The nurse came in then with some food for Sam, sparing Steve from continuing the conversation. At least for the moment. He had the feeling that Sam wasn’t done with him, and Steve couldn’t really blame him. He remained in the room while Sam ate his bowl of soup and crackers, but then the nurse asked him to leave so they could do some further testing.

“Wait. Wanda didn’t… do anything, did she?” Steve said, looking from her to Sam.

“We’re just running some tests to be sure,” the nurse said. “If you don’t mind?” She motioned to the door.

“I’ll catch up with you later, Sam,” Steve said. He wanted to stay to make sure Sam was okay, but knew better than to ask. The medical team didn’t mess around, and it wasn’t like Sam was going to be granting him any favors anytime soon. He shuffled towards the door, wincing when he heard the lock click into place behind him. That wasn’t standard. It looked like it was going to be a long time before Sam trusted him again, and Steve couldn’t blame him.

He stood there in the hall for a moment, hanging his head. This situation was so fucked up. They should’ve never invited Wanda to join the team. They should’ve known that she was dangerous. And now the Avengers couldn’t even be called a team anymore. None of them, except for maybe Tony, Bucky and Vision, were in any shape to fight. If they got called out right now, they were screwed.

“Captain Rogers,” a nurse said.

Steve looked at him. “Yes?”

“Colonel Rhodes and Agent Barton are both awake. Agent Romanov asked me to let you know.”

“Oh, thanks,” Steve said. His automatic reaction was to rush to Clint’s side. Out of them all, Clint and Steve had spent the most time with Wanda, with Natasha coming in as a close third. Rhodes and Sam had been spending a lot of time training together, so their exposure had been a little less. Clint was probably feeling as shaky as Steve and Natasha had.

But he quelled that. Clint had Laura, Natasha and Coulson around him. Rhodes didn’t have anyone. He turned left, heading for Rhodes’s room, and arrived just in time to see Rhodes getting out of bed in spite of the doctor’s protests. Rhodes ignored him, eyes alighting on Steve. The look of pure fury that crossed Rhodes’s face told Steve what was coming, but he didn’t try to dodge when Rhodes punched him in the face.

“You fucking asshole!” Rhodes snarled. “Tony is my _best friend_ and you let that toxic bitch into our space and _ruined that_! I’m going to kick your ass!”

“I’m sorry,” Steve said. He’d said it so many times already tonight, and he knew he’d be saying it a lot more in the days to come.

“You’re _sorry_? Do you even know what you’ve done? Tony is –” Rhodes stopped himself with effort, then changed tactics. “Where the fuck is she? Is she still here?”

“God no,” Steve said. “No. Tony had her taken to the Xavier Institute. Her powers are bound. She can’t hurt anyone right now. You’d be attacking a defenseless woman.” Because Steve had thought about it too. Getting his hands around Wanda’s neck would’ve alleviated some of the whirling emotions he was feeling. But it didn’t seem right to attack her when she couldn’t defend herself.

“Not child?” Rhodes asked, raising an eyebrow.

Steve flushed. Yet another thing that now seemed outlandish. Wanda wasn’t a child. If you ignored the years Steve had spent in the ice, she wasn’t that much younger than him: he was twenty-eight, and she’d just turned twenty-two a month ago. Hardly the scared kid in need of protection that Steve’d always viewed her as. He knew now that had been part of Wanda’s machinations, playing on Steve’s need to protect those younger or weaker than him.

“No, not child,” he said, and was proud when his voice didn’t shake. He met Rhodes’s eyes squarely. “I’ve spoken to Tony. He didn’t want to talk to anyone.”

“Fuck that,” Rhodes said. “I’m going to the Tower.”

“Tony said –”

“I don’t give a flying fuck what Tony told you, Rogers. What I know is that I’ve spent the last year ignoring my best friend on a good day, and talking shit about him on a bad day. I need to see him to figure out if this can be fixed. I’m fine!” he snapped at the doctor, who threw his hands up and stormed out.

“Tony loves you,” Steve said. “He’ll forgive you.”

“I don’t know if I deserve to be forgiven,” Rhodes said, quieter now. Then he looked back at Steve, words clipped. “But you better hope that this can be fixed. Because if it can’t, and I lose Tony over this, I will do so much more than kick your ass.”

Steve just nodded. “Safe travels.” There was nothing else he could say. If their positions had been reversed, and Steve’s relationship with Bucky was now at risk because of something Rhodes had done, Steve probably would’ve attacked already.

Rhodes snorted with disgust and stalked past him. Steve stayed in the now empty hospital room, trying to get himself under control before he went and saw Clint. He was not surprised when his phone chirped with an alert that the War Machine armor had just left the compound. The armor was the fastest way to travel, and there was no way Rhodes was going to leave Tony’s technology behind.

He took a couple deep breaths and then left the room, heading for Clint’s. He was thinking to himself that nothing could be worse than the conversation with Rhodes, but as soon as he walked into Clint’s room he knew that was flat-out wrong. Natasha was gone. Laura was crying. Coulson had that blank expression that he only got when things were hitting critical levels.

“Steve!” Clint’s eyes lit up when Steve walked in. “Thank god you’re here. You can help me explain to everyone that this is a bunch of bullshit.”

Ordinarily, Steve would’ve immediately agreed. But he glanced at Laura and Coulson warily, then asked, “What is?”

“This!” Clint gestured around the room. “This whole idea that Wanda was brainwashing us to dislike Stark? It’s ridiculous. I don’t know what Stark did, but he’s done something to make everyone think that Wanda is dangerous. You’ve gotta tell them that they’re wrong.”

Steve blinked in shock. “What? Clint, that’s… you’ve got it backwards. Wanda was using her magic on us. She has been for months.”

“No she wasn’t. I’ve been brainwashed before. I know what it feels like. There’s no way that’s true. Stark is lying to you,” Clint said.

“Clint, please,” Laura said tearfully, reaching out to put a hand on her husband’s arm. She looked devastated when Clint jerked away from her.

“No! Laura, you’re buying into this lie too.”

“It’s not a lie! You’ve been obsessed with Wanda for months!” Laura yelled at him. “You care more about her than you do about your own daughter!”

“How dare you?” Clint snapped. “I thought you supported my actions as an Avenger. Wanda is an orphan. She needs the team. She needs me.”

“Your family needs you,” Laura said, but she was crying too hard to be understood by anyone other than Steve. Judging by the confused looks on Clint’s and Coulson’s faces, they hadn’t understood. 

“Okay,” Steve said. “I think we all need a moment. Coulson, could you –” He jerked a thumb at the door. Coulson finally snapped into action, wrapping an arm around Laura’s shoulders and guiding her out of the room. Steve wanted nothing more than to follow them, but he forced himself to stay. When he turned to look at Clint again, he was faced with an expression of genuine confusion.

“Steve, I don’t get it. Stark shows up with some guy who casts weird spells and the next thing I know, everyone is saying that Wanda is terrible and that Stark’s a saint. Don’t you see? That guy obviously cast a spell to make us think that way.”

“No, Clint,” Steve said as gently as he could. “That’s not true. It’s the opposite. Coulson and Laura weren’t lying to you.”

“It got to you too,” Clint said, taking a step back and shaking his head. “I must’ve been immune because I was brainwashed before.”

“Clint…” For the third time in less than two hours, Steve found himself at a loss for words. It wasn’t an enjoyable feeling. He wished that Tony was there. Tony always knew what to say.

“Just go. I don’t want to talk to you right now,” said Clint.

Steve obeyed, stepping out into the hallway and closing the door behind him. He found Laura, sobbing as though her heart was breaking, cradled in Coulson’s arms. Over Laura’s head, Coulson glanced at Steve with an expression that was trying to be calm, but a little bit of emotion was breaking through. Even Coulson’s infamous composure was giving way, and Steve didn’t know how to fix it.


	4. Chapter 4

"Boss, Colonel Rhodes is approaching the tower. Should I permit him entrance, or would you like me to turn him away?"

Tony jerked his head up in surprise, midway through a bite of pasta. Bucky had insisted on ordering food since there wasn't much to eat in the tower. Knowing super soldier metabolisms the way he did, there wasn't really a way Tony could say no. They'd bickered about where to order food from, which was a nice distraction from everything else that Tony had to worry about right now, before finally deciding on Italian.

"Tony?" Bucky said quietly, after a moment had gone by and Tony failed to answer.

"I don't know," Tony said, realizing that his hand had started to shake. Ashamed, he lowered his fork and slid his hands into his lap. What if Rhodey was coming here to yell at him? Or end their friendship? What if he still hated Tony and wanted Tony to know it?

"He's exactly five minutes away," FRIDAY announced.

Shit. Tony's mind spun, trying to figure out whether this was a good idea or not. Part of him desperately wanted to see Rhodey - he'd never gone this long without at least talking to Rhodey before. But a bigger part of him was terrified that this would be the end. And he honestly didn't know if he could function in a world that didn't contain Rhodey. They'd been friends since Tony was fifteen.

"You don't have to," Bucky said. "You can turn him away. If he's your friend, he'll understand. If he’s not and he doesn’t, I can take care of it." 

Strangely enough, that was what cemented Tony's decision. The last thing he wanted was to see Rhodey and Bucky fighting with each other. "Let him land, FRIDAY," he said. He looked at Bucky. "It doesn't matter whether he hates me or not. I've never kept Rhodey out of the tower and I'm not about to start now."

Bucky nodded. "That's fair. Should I..." He gestured at the door.

"Please," Tony said. No matter which way this conversation went, he didn't want any witnesses. "Take the food with you. I'm not hungry anymore."

"I'll put your pasta in the fridge and you can eat it later," Bucky said with that cranky look that meant he wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer. Since it was easier to agree than to be honest and say Tony felt like throwing up, he just waved Bucky off and went to go wait on the landing pad.

About four minutes later, he could make out the lights of the War Machine armor approaching quickly. Tony swallowed hard and squared his shoulders, watching as War Machine landed heavily on the pad. The armor was malfunctioning a little, Tony noticed, which was no surprise. He hadn't been able to make any updates for several months now since Rhodey hadn't wanted him touching the armor.

FRIDAY must have activated the removal robots because they went to work, smoothly pulling apart the pieces of the armor. Rhodey let it happen, which was probably a good sign. This was normally about the time that Tony would have thrown himself into his best friend's arms for a hug, but this time he hung back. It was up to Rhodey to make the first move. He wasn't brave enough for that.

"Tony," Rhodey said once all of the armor was gone. He took a step forward, then visibly stopped himself. "Tony, I am so sorry."

Tony held his breath, letting himself hope. "You're sorry?"

“Yes. So sorry that I know I shouldn’t even be here. I should be groveling from a distance until you know exactly how sorry I really am. But I also know you. I don’t want you sitting around blaming yourself for what happened. It wasn’t your fault.”

“I should have vetted her better,” Tony said, finally letting himself speak the words that had been building up for months. “I should have convinced Steve that letting her on the team was a terrible idea. I should have pushed back harder. I should have realized something was wrong.” He swallowed hard, stopping the flow of words with effort. Each one was true.

Rhodey shook his head. “No, Tones. You couldn’t have convinced Steve of anything. I know. Being under her power, it was like… like a filter dropped over my brain. Things which made perfect sense to me at the time now seem crazy, and I can’t believe I ever thought they were right or true. Believe me, nothing you said would’ve been enough to make Steve or any of us see sense. Her hold on us was too strong.”

“Do you believe that?” Tony asked quietly. “Because from the sound of it, you’re beating yourself up an awful lot for something you had no control over.”

“It’s not the same thing.”

“To me it is. Either it was both of our faults or neither,” Tony said. “You can’t have it both ways.” He was determined not to let Rhodey wallow in guilt over this. If Wanda was strong or skilled enough that no one under her influence could have figured out what was going on or stopped it, then it wasn’t Rhodey’s fault either. 

That didn’t alleviate Tony’s guilt in the situation, of course. Tony knew that his friend was wrong. Rhodey had been right in the middle of it, with a good chunk of Wanda’s power directed right at his brain. How could Rhodey have possibly fought against that? Tony was the one who was on the outside. The one who should’ve figured out that something was wrong rather than thinking that suddenly, his best friend hated him. 

He should’ve involved Strange in the situation months ago. Not that Tony had been the one to reach out to Strange in the first place – that was Coulson’s doing. But Tony could’ve done more research. Looked into more qualified help rather than doing nothing at all. Surely something would’ve led him to Strange eventually, and then he could’ve freed Rhodey and the others earlier.

Rhodey had been staring at him in silence, eyes narrowed, like he was trying to figure out what was going through Tony’s brain. “Neither of us,” he said at last, but doubtfully, like he didn’t really believe it.

Tony tried to smile. “Then it’s neither of our faults, and I could really use a Rhodey hug right now if you’re up for it. You know how I need my dose of Rhodey hugs, and right now I’m months behind.”

“I’m always up for a hug,” Rhodey said. He finally closed the distance between them. The hesitation in his movement was obvious, and Tony hated how slowly Rhodey wrapped his arms around him. It was like he thought Tony might change his mind and shove him away.

He didn’t, of course. Tony had been waiting for this for what felt like forever. He wrapped his own arms around Tony’s chest, holding on so tightly that it had to hurt. Rhodey’s arms closed around him, one hand coming to rest on Tony’s shoulder and the other on Tony’s lower back. He was shaking a little, Tony realized. Rhodey wasn’t scared of anything, but apparently he’d been terrified that Tony wouldn’t take him back.

Which was just plain stupid. This was _Rhodey_. Tony had missed him more over the past months than the rest of the Avengers put together. He buried his face in Rhodey’s shoulder, breathing in the familiar scent of Rhodey’s favored cologne. Wanda had done a lot of shitty things. But almost taking Rhodey away was the one Tony would never, _ever_ forgive her for.

“I said some terrible things to you,” Rhodey whispered into Tony’s hair. “When I think about it, it makes me feel sick to my stomach.”

There wasn’t much Tony could say to that. Truth be told, Rhodey’s behavior had been the kindest and he was the one who’d said the least. But that just made all the occasions when Rhodey had said something, or laughed at something one of the others said, all the more painful. Tony would never forget Rhodey telling him that he should just own up and admit that the Iron Man armor was just another weapon made for war.

Now, he knew those had been Wanda’s words – and they certainly fit the way she thought – coming out of Rhodey’s mouth. But at the time, it had stung a lot. He’d been so sure that Rhodey had understood that Tony had created the armor to fight for peace, not to make war, and he’d lost hours to analyzing several Avenger’s battles and trying to figure out if other people thought the same way.

“I forgive you,” Tony mumbled finally. It was the truth. It wasn’t Rhodey’s fault. But he would also never be able to forget either, no matter how much he might’ve wanted to.

“Part of me wishes you wouldn’t,” Rhodey said, voice cracking. “We were horrible to you, Tony. I would punch someone for treating you the way I treated you.”

“Then punch yourself later. Or better yet, save your anger for Wanda.”

“Believe me, I am. Her and Rogers.” Rhodey practically spit Steve’s name out. 

“What? You’re mad at Steve?”

“Of course I am! Aren’t you?”

Tony pulled back, though remained in the comfortable circle of Rhodey’s arms. “Well… no. He was under her influence too.”

“But Steve _invited_ her onto the team,” Rhodey said. “He’s the reason that she was able to curse any of us!”

“Rhodey, that’s not fair,” Tony said. “You don’t know when Wanda got to Steve. She messed with our brains way before she became a part of the Avengers. If she got her hooks into Steve before we even got to the Barton’s house…” He trailed off in thought. It would make sense. It wasn’t long after that before first Steve and then Clint and the rest of them, save Bruce, had begun acting like she was a member of the team.

Of course, Clint had prevented Wanda from messing with his brain at the time. But there was also Loki to consider. Maybe being brainwashed once left your brain wide open for other people to do the same thing. Kind of like how getting bronchitis once left your body more susceptible to getting it again. Maybe it had taken very little effort for Wanda to get her hooks into Clint. It was a theory that Tony could run by Strange the next time he spoke to Strange on the phone.

It didn’t account for Wanda’s lack of control over Bruce – but maybe, Tony speculated, she hadn’t wanted to keep Bruce around. The Hulk would probably be hard to keep brainwashed. It was easy to set him off on a single rampage, but to maintain all that fury in one tiny direction? Impossible. Wanda was probably relieved when Bruce took off and wasn’t a concern anymore.

Frankly Tony should probably be grateful that Wanda had never tried to curse _him_. It was likely that, based on the nightmarish vision she’d given him, she had figured out that the worst ‘punishment’ was seeing his friends and team pull away. But she could have just as easily turned Tony into the kind of person she thought he was. He shuddered at the thought. There would’ve been no recovering his reputation after Wanda messed around with it.

“He should’ve known,” Rhodey said.

Tony gave him a look. “You literally just finished telling me that you had no idea there was anything wrong with what you were thinking, saying or doing when you were under Wanda’s control. You can’t hold Steve to a different standard just because he’s team leader or because he’s a super soldier.”

“Yes I can,” Rhodey said stubbornly. “I can’t punch Wanda because she’s not here, but I can punch Rogers.”

“You punched Steve?!” Tony squeaked. 

“I did, and I don’t regret it.”

“Rhodey…” Tony could feel a headache coming on him. “Steve was brainwashed. You were brainwashed. Wanda was _controlling_ you.”

“But that doesn’t change the fact that we still did what we did,” Rhodey said gently. “I still remember saying things about you that I know for a fact aren’t true. Wanda might’ve forced me, but I still did it. And you still remember _me_ saying them, not her.”

Someone else had said those words to Tony too. Very recently, in fact. Looking at Rhodey now, it was like listening to Bucky talk in the kitchen at 3am after they’d both woken up from nightmares. “I know that Hydra wiped my mind and made me do it,” Bucky had said, sounding so haunted. “But I still remember doing it. I remember shooting that poor kid. Their blood is on _my hands_.”

Tony’s throat hurt. He swallowed. “Rhodey, I don’t blame you.”

“I know you don’t. And I appreciate it.” Rhodey’s smile was small and sad. “But you should. I blame myself.”


	5. Chapter 5

Steve had held out hope that sending everyone in the compound to bed might help a little. The idea came from something his ma used to say to him when he'd come home sick or upset or angry. She'd sit him down in his bed and rub his back and tell him that if he closed his eyes and fell asleep, the world might look better in the morning. Sometimes her trick worked and sometimes it didn't. In this case, after tossing and turning in his bed for hours, Steve gave up and got out of bed. He hadn't slept and the world looked no better.

He took a shower and got dressed, then headed down to the cafeteria. Sam was the only other person there. He was sitting at a table alone, nursing a cup of coffee. Steve hesitated for a few seconds before walking slowly over to where the food was laid out. Tony had employed a chef to work at the compound full time, but it was still a bit too early for her to be making breakfast. And besides, Steve didn't feel like eating anything heavy. He toasted and buttered a bagel, then added fruit and yogurt and a cup of coffee to his tray. Before he could talk himself out of it, he went over and sat down across from Sam.

When Sam didn't immediately acknowledge him, Steve figured it was better to wait him out. He didn't look at Sam, just pretended like putting jam and peanut butter on the bagel consumed all of his focus. The first bite didn't taste nearly as good as Steve had hoped that it would. He moved the food around and around in his mouth before forcing himself to swallow. Had it not been for the fact that his stomach was growling and skipping a meal would put him in the medical wing, he would've shoved his meal away.

"I'm sorry," Sam said when Steve was about halfway through his bagel.

Steve looked up at him, startled. "What?" he asked, genuinely baffled. He couldn't think of a single thing that Sam needed to apologize for.

"I shouldn't have yelled at you. Wanda was controlling you too. I know there's no way you would've let her on the team if you'd had any idea of what she was like or what she would do." Sam set his mug down on the table a little too hard. "Or at least, I hope you wouldn't have."

"Of course not! God, Sam, you have no idea how many times I've been over this in my mind. Trying to figure out how the hell she made me think it was a good idea. Trying to figure out how I didn't see a problem with what was happening earlier. Trying to figure out..." Steve shook his head. "Just trying to figure out _why_." His voice was slightly hoarse. He realized his hands were shaking.

Sam nodded. "That's what I figured. I was angry and I was looking for someone to lash out at. Since Wanda's not around, you were an easy target. I shouldn't have said what I did. I know it must've made you feel like shit. I apologize."

"It's fine," Steve said. "Seriously, at least you didn't punch me like Rhodes did."

"Jim punched you?" Both of Sam's eyebrows went up.

"I don't blame him. I feel responsible. I am responsible. I'm the leader of the team."

"You were cursed, Steve. That's unprecedented territory from what I understand. The first time you guys encountered Wanda, that was your first brush with magic, wans't it?"

"There was Loki," Steve pointed out.

"Yeah, a god," Sam scoffed. "I think you can be forgiven for not realizing an ordinary human could do the same thing that a freaking god can. I mean, had this happened to you before - and not because of a god - then yeah, I'd have every right to be pissed with you, because it would meant that you hadn't put any safety protocols in place. But you didn't, and you got blindsided. We all did. I was right there with you. Like I said last night, I know exactly how reasonable Wanda made everything seem."

"Did you call your mom?" Steve asked. He couldn't think about the rest of what Sam was saying. Not yet, anyway.

"As soon as I finished up in the medical bay. I'm okay, by the way," Sam added.

"That's good," Steve said. "Your mom is too?"

"She was very angry at me for not keeping in contact, but I think I've managed to convince her it was for Avengers business. I haven't decided if I'll her the truth." Sam shook his head. "Look, Steve, I got her to get me the number of an old friend of mine. She's a renowned psychiatrist with a lot of experience in treating vets. Very non-threatening, very discreet. I'm sure if you called her, she would come."

"A psychiatrist?" Steve repeated blankly.

"Not just for you. For all of us. I can't do it. I'm just as compromised as the rest of you. But I think we need to talk to someone. Someone who's experienced in handling these kinds of things. Maybe she can tell us what's going on with Clint."

Steve grimaced slightly. "You heard?"

"Natasha told me," Sam said. "She's super upset."

"I'm not surprised." Steve sat back in his chair, rubbing his hands over his face. A psychiatrist. Everything in him rebelled against the idea. In the 30's, the idea of mental health was laughable. You were either crazy or you weren't. Period. There was no trying to help the crazy people. Those people got sent to asylums where they couldn't bother the people who weren't crazy. And men who came back from overseas, well. They just dealt with it as best they could. Most turned to drink, like Steve's father had, but that was just what you did to get through the day. You didn't sit down and talk to someone about it.

But that was what Tony would've called an old-fashioned way of thinking, wasn't it? Steve had been down this road before and gotten soundly mocked for it. And he desperately wanted to do right by his team right now. If that meant calling in a psychiatrist and setting a good example by having at least one session with her, then Steve was probably going to have to do it no matter how much the idea made him uncomfortable. He'd never been good with words, especially when it came to words related to emotions, so this would probably be a disaster.

"I guess it's not a terrible idea," he said carefully. "Natasha, Coulson, Laura, Clint - we could all use an unbiased party to help us sort this out."

Sam smiled. "I'm glad you agree. I'll give you her number."

"Would you call her, Sam?" Steve said. "Please? I just -"

"No problem. I don't mind. I'll do it today," Sam promised. "How do you -"

Whatever else Sam was about to say was cut off by the Avengers alarm. Steve's heart sank straight through his stomach and into the floor. They couldn't deal with this right now. None of them were fit for battle. But as he looked at Sam's determined face, Steve also realized that they didn't have a choice. If the Avengers alarm was going off, that meant their help was desperately needed somewhere. And Steve couldn't ignore that. He would never forgive himself if someone died when the Avengers could've stopped him.

He grabbed an apple, tossed his coffee back, and ran out of the room with Sam on his heels. He scarfed down his apple as he quickly pulled his uniform on and grabbed the shield, slinging it into place on his back as he hurried to where the quinjet was stored. Natasha, Sam, and - shit - Clint had beaten him there. All three of them were suited up. As the alarm died down, they all turned to look at him. Steve realized that Natasha and Sam were probably expecting him to order Clint to stay behind. But they were already down three members, with Rhodes, Vision and Wanda being out, and Steve didn't feel comfortable going with only two other people.

"Let's go," he said instead, hoping he didn't regret this. 

"I'll drive," Clint said, all business, rushing up the steps. No one argued. Aside from Tony and Coulson, Clint was the best pilot they had.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Natasha hissed, cornering Steve before the jet had even lifted off. "He's not in his right mind yet, Steve."

"I can't guarantee that Vision or War Machine will be there to back us up. If we can get by with just the three of us, I'll order Clint to stay on the jet," Steve told her. "At the very least, I can put him somewhere up high where he can't cause too much trouble."

Famous last words. The fight was a fucking disaster. Steve would be the first to admit that. The Avengers had been called in to help deal with another attack from Dr. Doom, but it was like all of them had collectively forgotten how to fight. Not only did Steve feel stupid and clumsy, like every throw he made with the shield was just a little bit off, there was no symmetry and none of the usual ease to their teamwork; Steve kept turning and expecting to see Wanda to his right, as she had usually shadowed him during their battles. He kept expecting to see War Machine overhead, helping Sam out from the air. And he kept making plans that depended on their presence.

It seemed the others were having the same problem, as several times Natasha would taking a running leap and then just... land. There was no Wanda to propel her into the air. Once, a doombot blasted her in the stomach because of it. And Sam kept getting himself into situations where there was no War Machine for back-up. Even Clint was struggling, looking around for team members who weren't there and, at one point, going into a very real panic about the fact that he didn't have eyes on Wanda. 

In the end, Dr. Doom was thwarted - but not because of anything the Avengers had done. The Fantastic Four had shown up midway through the battle and quickly taken over with an ease that left Steve extremely jealous. There really wasn't anything for the Avengers to do but tuck their tails between their legs and retreat before any of the press got brave enough to approach and ask questions. Unfortunately, Steve was underestimating the thirst for the truth. As he picked up his shield, he found himself surrounded by a group of journalists.

"Captain! Where is the rest of your team?"

"Can you tell us what went wrong today?"

"How do you feel about the fact that the Fantastic Four had to save you?"

Pride stung, Steve glared. "They didn't save us," he snapped, forgetting the rule that Tony and his public relations team had hammered into their collective heads long ago: never talk to the press if you were jumpy, angry or otherwise out-of-sorts. It was just a phenomenally bad idea. There was a reason why post-battle chats with the press were usually done by Tony: he was the only one capable of handling these kinds of talks with post-battle adrenaline still running through him.

Some eyebrows were raised at his tone. The journalist who'd asked the question apparently decided to seize the moment, asking, "It seems the Avengers were down two team members. Can you explain why the Fantastic Four was called in instead?"

"They weren't called in, they came to help deal with their enemy," Steve said, which was a mistake and he knew that even as he said it. Everyone knew that Dr. Doom was an enemy of the Fantastic Four, but Steve would bet good money that his comment would be taken as an implication that the Fantastic Four weren't doing their jobs. Goddamnit.

"Where is the rest of your team?" the journalist pressed.

"War Machine was called away because of other commitments," Steve said. "And effective immediately, the Scarlet Witch is no longer an Avenger." 

He probably shouldn't have announced that without talking to someone first. The Public Relations team was going to _murder_ him. But Steve didn't care. He wanted the whole world to know that the Avengers were no longer associating themselves with Wanda Maximoff. It would make some people happy and it would piss other people off, but Steve didn't particularly care. At that moment, bruised and aching after a frankly humiliating battle where another superhero team had saved them, he hated Wanda so much that he would've been very happy if he never had to see or even think about her again.


	6. Chapter 6

“Tony! Have you seen the news?”

Tony jumped as the door to his office flew open and Bucky rushed inside. “Bucky? What’s going on?” he asked cautiously, torn between surprise and concern. Bucky _never_ ventured below the personal floors of Stark Tower, even though there was nothing keeping him from doing so. He seemed to be afraid of encountering anyone other than Tony or Vision. For Bucky to have come down now meant…

Bucky strode over to the desk and picked up the remote. He switched on the television. Any questions Tony might’ve had died a swift death as soon as he caught a glimpse of the screen. His jaw dropped as he watched Steve, in a matter of minutes, snap at the press, insult the Fantastic Four, and announce that Wanda was no longer an Avenger.

“ _Captain America refused comment after that, but rumors are raging as to what has happened to the Avengers. Their poor display today certainly makes me question whether or not they’re capable of protecting our world,_ ” said one of the newscasters.

“ _You’re not the only one. Twitter is exploding. #NotanAvenger is trending,_ ” said the other newscaster. “ _We go live now to -_ ”

Bucky muted the television. “Vision said they’re right. People are posting a lot about the Avengers and it’s not good.”

“Oh my god,” Tony said with true despair. He’d grabbed his tablet and could see for himself that it was true. He landed on video of the battle, shaky footage shot with a cell phone camera. He and Bucky watched the battle in disbelief. That, compared with Steve’s interview, was just _fantastic_.

“Oh my god is right,” Pepper said from the doorway. Bucky tensed up immediately, but Pepper barely spared him a glance. She was too harried. “Tony, I have the head of your public relations team on the phone in tears right now. She wants to know if you’ll make a statement.”

“I’m not an Avenger anymore,” Tony pointed out, but he was already rising. Two months ago, he might’ve been tempted to keep his hands out of the situation and let Steve (and the P.R. team Tony paid for) handle it. Knowing what he knew now, he couldn’t resist stepping in. Wanda’s actions and the lingering consequences _would not_ ruin the name of the Avengers. Not if Tony had anything to say about it.

It felt like he barely stopped for the next three days. That afternoon, he made a (hastily put together) statement to the press that didn’t address Wanda’s absence, but which reaffirmed the Avengers’ positive relationship with the Fantastic Four and confirmed that there had been some modifications to the team line-up which would be further discussed at a later time. The questions about Wanda came thick and fierce, but Tony sidestepped most of them as best he could.

On Tuesday, he had to visit the Fantastic Four and apologize on behalf of Steve and the rest of the team. It was galling, mostly because Tony did not like Reed Richards. Richards was less inclined to accept the apology, probably because it was coming from Tony, but Sue pulled him aside and gave him a hug and said she completely understood. She inferred she’d been talking to Xavier, but Tony didn’t press the issue.

Wednesday was back-to-back meetings with SHIELD and the S.I. board. The board wanted to be reassured that this wouldn’t affect their stock, because even though Tony wasn’t officially an Avenger, Stark Industries and the Avengers were irrevocably blinked in the minds of many people. SHIELD, or what was left of it, wanted to know what the Avengers were going to do about their frankly appalling behavior during the battle. Tony didn’t have an answer for them. 

Thursday, another statement had to be made to the press – but Steve was the one making it this time, not Tony. The P.R. team had spent several long hours figuring out how to explain Wanda’s departure without giving the real reason, though admittedly Tony had given serious thought to just not protecting Wanda and letting everyone know exactly what she had done. Call it karma or retribution or whatever, but he was sick of protecting her.

Eventually they came up with a loosely worded statement that simply said that the team had unanimously decided that Wanda needed more training, and that she had left the team to pursue that. It wasn’t exactly a lie, but still left the door open for the truth to be told later. Of course, the press immediately latched onto the fact that Wanda had been allowed out on the field _without_ training.

Watching Steve squirm from behind the scenes was gratifying in a way Tony was sure he should feel guilty about. Technically, Steve was just as much a victim of Wanda as anyone. Everything he’d done to bring her onto the team had been done under her control, not because Steve wanted to. Still, that didn’t make Tony want to step forward and interfere. 

“So can you explain, Captain, why the Scarlet Witch was given leave to enter the field when she wasn't ready?” a journalist demanded.

Steve swallowed visibly. “To the best of our knowledge, Wanda had control of her powers.”

“Are you saying she deliberately omitted the fact that she wasn’t? She lied to you?”

Steve hesitated for only a moment. “Yes.”

Murmurs ran through the room. Tony, who was sitting at the back with a baseball cap and sunglasses on, cocked his head thoughtfully. That wasn’t a bad answer. It could be spun to make Wanda look young and inexperienced, or too intimidated by the Avengers to be honest about her abilities or lack thereof. Better than Steve admitting blame on behalf of the Avengers. The P.R. team could run with that for now.

“How did you find out?” another journalist asked.

“It wasn’t on a mission,” Steve said immediately. “We were doing some training at the compound and one of our modules didn’t go right. No one was hurt,” he added, which made Tony smile a little. Steve was finally learning to anticipate the questions of the press.

“Can you pinpoint any moments in the past several months where her lack of control caused missions to go sideways?”

“We haven’t done a comprehensive review, no.”

“And what will the Avengers do now? It seems like you can’t function as a team without her,” someone else called out. 

Steve tensed. “We’ll be taking some time to figure that out,” he said slowly. “It’s always a challenge when new members join a team or old members leave.”

It was also a challenge when said members had been cursed and were now trying to reorient themselves. Tony shook his head as more murmurs began, people whispering to each other. The image of the Avengers was being hurt by this, there was no way around that. One or two people leaving shouldn’t affect a strong team to the degree of the last battle; people weren’t stupid, they knew that.

“Are you having a replacement come in? Will Iron Man be rejoining the team?”

Tony looked up in time to catch a look of true grief on Steve’s face. It was quickly smoothed away into what was becoming Steve’s press smile. “I’m not sure. Iron Man left the team to pursue other ventures. He’s a very busy man and unfortunately that hasn’t changed just because of Scarlet Witch. We’re following up on several avenues right now.”

The P.R. lead stepped out on stage to end the interview then, just as Tony had asked her to if people began asking about Iron Man. It was too late, though. Already he could hear the whispers brewing: no one questioned whether or not Tony Stark was a busy man, but surely the safety of the world came above everything else? Either the Avengers had to find someone else and fast, or Tony was going to have to rejoin the team just to save his own reputation. He barely held in a frustrated sigh.

Steve was ushered off stage. Tony stood and made his out of the room, feeling increasingly weary. He just didn’t know if he wanted to be an Avenger again. With time he would be able to forgive, but he would never forget. And he genuinely didn’t know if he would be able to trust. How could he work with someone if, every time he looked at them, he was bracing himself for a cruel comment?

He walked alone for about a block, lost in his thoughts, before someone fell into step beside him. Tony didn’t notice at first, too preoccupied with wondering whether Rhodey would want to go back, but eventually it was impossible not to. He tensed up, thinking that some reporter had caught on to the fact that Tony Stark had been attending the press conference. 

“So it’s true? She’s really off the team?”

Tony tripped, so shocked by the unexpectedly familiar voice that he stopped watching where he was going and missed crack in the sidewalk. Bruce Banner caught him easily, bracing an arm across Tony’s chest and stopping him from falling forward. He pulled Tony upright and then guided him off the sidewalk, into the mouth of an alley so that they weren’t impeding the flow of people.

“Bruce?” Tony said, mind still whirring in disbelief. He hadn’t seen Bruce in months. Not since the battle with Ultron. They’d discovered a quinjet missing, so it wasn’t hard to figure out that Bruce had taken off. Tony had later found the abandoned quinjet in Africa and had it brought home, but he hadn’t searched for Bruce. The message that Bruce wanted to be left alone had been loud and clear.

“It’s me,” Bruce said quietly, releasing him. He took a step back and shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. “Hi Tony.”

Tony stared at him, baffled. “What are you doing here?”

“I saw Steve’s announcement that Wanda was off the team,” Bruce said.

“That’s why you left? Because she was becoming an Avenger?”

Bruce shook his head. “No. I left because the Hulk killed a lot of people.” His voice cracked. He had to clear his throat. “But that’s what kept me away. I just couldn’t be around her. Even the thought of it makes me unbearably angry.”

“And now you’re back because she’s gone.” Tony didn’t mean to sound as flat as he did. But he was finding it hard to drum up any excitement over Bruce’s reappearance. Selfish though it might be, as far as Tony was concerned, Bruce was just one more person who had abandoned him without even a word of goodbye – and left him to face the inquiry over Ultron all by himself.

Because there had been one, of course. You couldn’t have a hand in creating a monster that tried to destroy the world without one. It had been an extremely stressful time, especially since that was when the Avengers really began stepping up their open dislike. Tony had managed to come through the inquiry okay, proving that he hadn’t done anything wrong: Loki’s staff, in combination with other factors, had corrupted the original peace-keeping program Tony and Bruce had built and turned it into Ultron. He’d received some blame for bringing the staff into the project, but that was it.

Privately, Tony also laid much of the blame at Wanda’s feet. Her vision had kicked his PTSD into high gear, and that was the whole reason he’d become obsessed with making Ultron work. Before that, he and Bruce had mutually agreed to set the project aside because they couldn’t figure out how to make it work. But Tony hadn’t told anyone that, preferring not to share his mental health issues with a whole board of people. Now, he kind of wished he had. Maybe Wanda’s influence over the team would’ve been discovered sooner.

Bruce shifted from foot to foot, looking uncomfortable. “Being on the run isn’t what it’s cracked up to be,” he said finally. He was probably trying for levity, but Tony’s automatic reaction was to hear it as Bruce having got used to a certain standard of life while living in the tower, and now he was back for that.

Stop that, Tony scolded himself. Bruce wasn’t like that and Tony knew that. He did. It was just hard to remember sometimes when Tony had lived his whole life dealing with people who _were_ like that. And even if Bruce did miss living in the tower, that wasn’t necessarily a terrible thing. Tony had built the tower for lavish comfort. Everyone knew that.

“It’s not quite the same,” Tony said. “I have a few new roommates and the old ones are all gone.”

“I heard,” Bruce said. “I’m sorry.”

“For what? That I have new roommates or that the old ones took off?”

“For everything. But especially for leaving you alone to deal with her,” Bruce said seriously. A cooler wind blew and he shivered a little, hunching in on himself. “I don’t know exactly what happened after I left. I’m guessing it wasn’t fun.”

Tony sighed. “Fun is the least of it. Come on. I’ll tell you everything over pizza.”


	7. Chapter 7

Steve was sitting in the living room staring blankly at the television, still dressed in the clothing he'd worn to the press release, when Natasha walked in. He didn't acknowledge her presence at first, too absorbed in the newscast. It was one of many he'd watched since returning to the compound, and everyone seemed to be tearing the Avengers apart for their lack of foresight when it came to Wanda. In fact, the only person who had come out looking okay was Tony - and it had been pointed out several times that Tony was no longer an Avenger, so why was he still cleaning up after their messes? Every time Tony's name was mentioned, Steve could feel a renewed sting of guilt.

"Why are you watching this station?" Natasha asked finally. "You know that they've never got anything good to say about anyone." She pried the remote out of his hand and shut the television off. The sudden silence was suffocating. 

"They're right," Steve said. "Did you know Tony went to the Fantastic Four and apologized on behalf of the Avengers? He didn't have to do that. It should've been me. No one even asked if I would do it." He didn't know whether to be angry about that or not. He would've swallowed his pride and done it, especially if he'd known that the alternative was Tony having to do it. But he wouldn't have liked it, so maybe he would've made things worse.

Natasha didn't respond, and, after almost a minute of silence, Steve glanced at her. It was the first time he'd seen her since the battle and it hit him suddenly that she didn't look good. She wasn't wearing any make-up, but he didn't think that was the reason her face was so pale or there were such dark circles under her eyes. She was sitting awkwardly too, perching stiffly on the edge of the couch instead of sprawling against the back like she normally would, with one arm curled protectively around her belly, and he remembered the blast that she'd taken in the stomach. 

She spoke before he could ask if she was alright, saying, "Yes, I knew. I anticipated that would happen. Out of all of us, Tony is easily the most charming even when we're at our best. And right now, we're far from our best. You should call and thank him for doing that. Otherwise, the Fantastic Four might not come help next time. If there is a next time."

"Of course there will be a next time," Steve said. He paused, parsing through her meaning, and added, "Won't there?"

"I don't know."

"Are you quitting?" he asked, torn between accepting it with quiet resignation and fighting it. At one time, he wouldn't have accepted it without a fight. But he was beginning to wonder if maybe that kind of attitude was only serving to push people away.

Natasha closed her eyes. "Why haven't you told Tony the truth about his parents and the Winter Soldier, Steve?"

That was the last thing that Steve was expecting to be brought up here and now. He stared at her for a moment, blinking stupidly. "What?"

"You told me _months_ ago that you were going to tell Tony. You made me promise not to say anything because you said you wanted to be the one to tell him. You said that it would be better coming from you, because you knew Bucky the best." Natasha was looking at him now, face cold and accusing. "That was way before Wanda came into our lives, so don't try using her as an excuse. Why didn't you tell him?"

Steve didn't know what to say. He wanted to get up and leave, but he had the feeling Natasha would tackle him before he made it to the door. "I didn't want to put Tony through that pain," he said at last.

"That's bullshit. Come on, Steve. If you're going to lie, at least try."

"What do you want me to say?" Steve asked wearily, too tired to get pissed off. "Fine. I didn't tell Tony because I knew it would cause friction when I tried to bring Bucky back. And I needed Tony's help to find him. Or at least, I thought I did." He stopped, ruthlessly squashing the jealousy that had flared up. He still didn't know why Bucky had gone to Tony when Steve was right here, waiting for him. He hadn't even seen or talked to Bucky since that day when Wanda had been removed from the compound. Any attempts at calling the tower to talk to Bucky were blocked by FRIDAY.

Natasha nodded. Then she said, "You're a horrible person."

"That's kind of hypocritical coming from you. Didn't you once stab Tony in the neck with a needle?"

"I really don't think you want to start a fight over who's hurt Tony more," Natasha said. "You need to tell him."

"Why? He already knows. Bucky told him."

"Do you know that for a fact?"

Steve opened his mouth and then closed it, realizing that he didn't. Bucky had said that he was looking after Tony because he owed it to Tony's parents, which meant Bucky knew - but Bucky had never actually said that he'd told Tony. "I don't know," he admitted.

"Even if he did, you need to tell him that you knew and didn't say anything. Or I will."

"Is that a threat?"

"It's a promise," Natasha said simply. "I'm not quitting. I'm taking a vacation."

"I didn't know Avengers got vacation," Steve said, momentarily thrown by the sudden switch back to their original conversation.

She shrugged. "I'm taking it anyway. Wanda fucked me up, Steve. I thought I was done with people messing with my head." Her lips tightened into a thin line. "I had to set up new identities after Hydra fell. They're all compromised now. Everything is..." She made herself stop. 

"I'm sorry," Steve said. He didn't know what else to say.

"Save your apologies for Tony. He's the one who deserves them. I don't blame you for Wanda." 

What she didn't say, but strongly implied - that she blamed him for the cracks that had started breaking the team apart long before Wanda appeared on scene - made Steve swallow hard. "And Clint?"

"I can't deal with Clint right now. If he tells me one more time that Tony is a fucking liar and that Wanda is some kind of goddamn saint, I'm going to put the heel of my boot up his ass. He's so deep into denial that he can't or won't hear anything we tell him, or maybe there's some lingering curse on him. I don't know. Coulson said something about getting Strange over here to check." Natasha shook her head. "Point is, Clint has Laura and Coulson to fuss over him. Rhodes took off to Tony, and Vision's never coming back. You and Sam have got each other. I'm out."

In spite of everything, Steve still wanted her to stay. He had to clamp down on the selfish impulse, mostly because he knew that asking would be useless. Had it been Tony, Natasha probably would've stayed. He was pretty sure that was a good chunk of what was twisting her up inside right now - she'd always been weaker for Tony than she liked to admit, and they'd both lied to him for months. Not that anything Wanda had done could be hand-waved away, but somehow this felt worse all the same.

"We'll miss you," he said stiffly, for lack of anything better to say.

Natasha smiled mirthlessly. "No, you won't. That fight was a fucking circus. We were all..." She trailed off and blew a breath out through her nose. "Look, let's just say I don't envy you trying to pull something together. Good luck with that." She stood up. For the first time, he realized she had a small backpack with her. She slung it over her shoulder, nodded at him, and walked out.

She was leaving right now. Steve stared at the door, listening. He was half-expecting to hear a car start up. Tony had supplied the compound with several cars and motorcycles and that would be the easiest way to gain distance quickly. But as the minutes dragged on and he continued to listen to silence, he realized that of course Natasha would know that all of those cars and 'cycles would have had tracers planted in them. She'd have other ways of disappearing that wouldn't allow anyone to track her that easily.

"Is she gone?"

He startled, nearly tipping off the couch. "What?"

Laura leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed. "Natasha. She left?"

"Yes," Steve said. Obviously he'd been the last to know. Laura just nodded and turned away, wandering out of the room as silently as she had come. Steve put his head into his hands.

He didn't know what to do anymore. The Avengers had fallen apart. Thor was off-world and unreachable, doing who knows what on Asgard. Bruce had disappeared after the battle with Ultron, and Tony claimed not to know where he was. Rhodes was pissed off at Steve and out of reach right now. Natasha was gone and hadn't indicated when she would be back, but Steve wasn't counting on it being anytime soon. Clint was.... Steve didn't even know what the hell was going on with Clint. Sam would go into the field if he was needed, but he wouldn't be happy about it.

And Steve knew exactly how he felt. For the first time in his life, Steve Rogers didn't want to go into battle. It was a shocking realization for him. He'd spent his whole life just _waiting_ for the moment when he could fight. Going on that mission to save Bucky during the war had been like taking his first real breath of fresh air. But now the thought of the Avengers alarm going off made a chill go down his spine. He couldn't trust himself anymore. He couldn't tell if his instincts were real or if they were the remnants from what Wanda wanted him to think was real.

That made him dangerous. A liability. You couldn't second guess yourself when you were in the middle of a fight: a split second could be the difference between someone surviving or dying. And while he knew that you couldn't always save everyone, he also didn't want unnecessary lives on his hands. The world deserved better than that. The Avengers deserved better than that. They deserved a leader who could make the right call, no matter how hard that call was to make.

Steve knew what he had to do, much as he hated to admit it. He picked up his phone and dialed Tony's number. 

"Hello?" Tony said.

"Tony?" Steve said, clinging to the sound of that voice. He'd watched the press conference Tony had led, but this was different.

"Hi Steve. Look, if this is about that email -"

"What? No. I don't know anything about any email," Steve said. He hadn't checked his email in - he couldn't even remember. He probably had thousands of unread emails by now. The thought of going through them all was more than daunting. It was damn near terrifying. 

"Oh," Tony said. Then he paused, clearly waiting to hear what Steve wanted.

"I... I called to talk to you about the future of the Avengers," Steve muttered. 

"Okay," Tony said slowly. "I'm not an Avenger anymore, but sure. Shoot."

"Natasha left. She called it a vacation. But she was right. None of us are ready to be out in the field. I can't trust myself, and that means I can't trust anyone else either. I think Sam and Clint need to be benched." Steve took a deep breath. His heart was racing. The Avengers had been all he had since he'd come out of the ice. "I'm benching myself too. At least for a little while. A couple weeks, maybe."

"Oh," Tony breathed again, shocked.

"I don't know what that means," Steve went on. "I know it's not your problem, but I didn't know who else to call. You were right when you said the world needs the Avengers, but I don't even know who the Avengers are anymore."

Tony was quiet for several moments. Then he said, "I wasn't expecting this."

"I didn't meant to drop it on you. I guess I should've talked to Coulson first, but -"

"It's okay," Tony said. "I'll.... I'll deal with it."

And that's why he'd called Tony. Because Tony _always_ dealt with any problem and made it go away, even when he didn't have to, and Steve loved him for that more than he could say. "Thank you," he said hoarsely. "Tony?"

"Yes?"

"There's something else I have to tell you."

"What?"

"Natasha and I found out, back before SHIELD fell... the Winter Soldier killed your parents."

Silence. Complete and utter silence. Steve panicked.

"She wanted to tell you, and I did too. But I -"

The phone clicked. The dial tone rang in Steve's ear.


	8. Chapter 8

The talk with Bruce didn't happen. Well, not in its entirety. They got pizza to go and walked back to the Tower together, as Tony figured this was a chat best held where a) other people couldn't overhear and b) there was no chance of anyone getting hurt over a potential Hulk-out. That turned out to be the smartest decision he'd made in a long time. Literally, the only sentence Tony got out of his mouth was "Wanda used her magic to brainwash the other Avengers into thinking that I'm not a good person" before Bruce lost it.

"Hulk smash Witch," Hulk growled, pounding his fist into his open mouth. He looked around the room like he was expecting Wanda to show her face.

Tony tried not to sigh. "I'm afraid not, Big Guy," he said, setting his slice of pizza down. He wasn't that hungry, anyway. "I took the witch to a place where she won't be able to hurt anyone else. If I had my choice, I would've let you smash her."

"Tin Man hurt?" Hulk demanded.

Tony opened his mouth to reply and then paused as the Hulk's big green eyes bored into him. For some reason, it was hard to be flippant or lie when the Hulk was looking at him like that. "I'm not physically hurt," he said finally. "But I can't say that I'm in a very good place right now mentally, either. The witch has done a real number on the whole team. Maybe Bruce was smart to run away." He said that last part under his breath, only half-meaning it: it stung that Bruce had taken off, but at the same time it was hard to know whether things would've been different had he stayed. They did _not_ need to know if Wanda was capable of controlling the Hulk long term.

Hulk snorted. "Hulk no leave Tin Man," he rumbled. He lifted a hand, reaching out towards Tony. Tony went very still, hardly breathing, as one of the Hulk's fingers brushed against his cheek. It was a surprisingly gentle touch and, for some reason Tony couldn't think of, made a lump form in Tony's throat.

"Thanks," he said hoarsely, forcing a smile. "I appreciate the sentiment." His phone started to ring. He looked down automatically, swallowing when he saw Steve's phone number. 

"Tin Man no answer," Hulk offered.

"I wish it was that easy. Listen, if I take this call, will you stay here? You can watch the television. FRIDAY will bring up some cartoons for you."

Hulk sighed explosively. "Hulk stay."

"Thanks. I'll be right back." Tony walked out of the room and answered the phone.

Later, he would wish that he hadn't.

Steve's phone call left him alternately enraged and nauseous. Tony hung up before Steve could say anything else, not wanting to hear whatever justifications or excuses that Steve was about to make. He just couldn't listen to them right now, not when he thought he might throw up right there in the hallway. It was bad enough that Natasha had taken off and that Steve had decided to bench the remaining members of the Avengers, and then dumped that whole mess into Tony's lap to be dealt with. Tony could handle that. It pissed him off, because somehow he always ended up cleaning up for the rest of the team, but it wasn't that bad.

But for Steve to blatantly admit that he'd _known_ about the Winter Soldier... that he'd _known_ how Maria and Howard Stark had died and he'd never said a damn thing... that he'd _known_ for almost two years.... well. That was more than even Tony could handle. He threw his phone against the wall, wanting the satisfaction of watching it shatter. Unfortunately, Starktech wasn't cheap: his phone was too well made for that, and bounced harmlessly off the wall and to the floor. The stupid screen didn't even crack.

"Boss?" FRIDAY ventured. "Vision is with the Hulk. They're watching cartoons. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Tony said, but it was like he was hearing himself speak from a distance. There was a dull roaring in his ears. He had the strongest urge to hunt Steve down and punch him repeatedly until Steve could feel a tenth of the emotions that were swirling inside of Tony right now. It was a very good thing that they weren't in the same room, or he might've actually lost it.

As it was, he managed to stagger down the hallway. He had no idea where he was going when he walked into the elevator, but the door opened on the gym. That had to be FRIDAY’s doing, but Tony was hardly in a position to protest. Punching something sounded really satisfying right now, even if it couldn’t be Steve’s stupid face. He didn’t even care that he wasn’t wearing the proper clothing, didn’t even stop to wrap his hands: he shuffled over to the nearest punching bag, drew his arm back, and let fly.

The flesh on his knuckles split on both hands long before the fury in his chest had eased. Tony drew in a ragged breath as he looked at the smears of blood he was leaving on the punching bag. He’d had much the same reaction when Bucky told him the truth in the first place, except he’d gone down to the shop to pound on some scrap metal instead. Then he’d gotten drunk.

Eventually, pity or maybe compassion had driven him to tell Bucky that Tony forgave him, even if it was just to keep Bucky from always looking like a hunted rabbit on the verge of being eaten. It had taken at least another week or two of Bucky’s company before Tony actually meant it. As hard as it was to cope with the picture of his parents dying at Bucky’s hands, he was able to figure out how to redirect his anger towards Hydra. It helped to think that the Soldier who’d actually done the deed was dead now, and only Bucky remained.

But this… there was no way for Tony to come to terms with this. It wasn’t a decision that could be blamed on Hydra. Steve hadn’t been brainwashed or tortured. He’d known, or at least suspected, for almost two years. For at least a year of that time, Steve and Tony had been in contact almost every day. Thinking of all the times they’d shared a meal together, or watched a show at the same time, all the times that Steve had been with him and known… it made Tony’s stomach heave.

He turned away from the punching bag and bent double, heaving. His mouth filled with the taste of acid, but he didn’t actually throw up. Small miracles. His hands stung and his eyes stung too, because this was something that couldn’t be blamed on Wanda. No, Steve had made this decision of his own free will. And apparently Natasha had too, all because they wanted to protect Bucky and didn’t once think that Tony could be a good enough man to help with that.

It was a solid slap in the face. Captain America thought that low of him. Tony gave a quiet, mirthless laugh. He didn’t know why, after all this time, that surprised him. It hurt more than he’d expected, and he realized for the first time that a tiny part of him had been harboring hopes that he and Steve and all of the Avengers could be friends again now that Wand was out of the picture.

Again. Tony was an idiot. They’d never been friends in the first place.

He straightened up slowly, wiping his mouth, and noticed Bucky for the first time. Bucky was standing just inside the room, hands down at his sides, staring at Tony with such an awful look on his face that Tony immediately knew FRIDAY had told him about the conversation. Of course she had. Tony hadn’t told her not to, and FRIDAY was smitten with Bucky. She’d probably told Rhodey too, now that Tony was thinking about it.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky said before Tony could say a word. “I didn’t know that Steve knew.”

“Of course you didn’t. It seems like Steve isn’t big on telling anyone anything,” Tony said, more sharply than he’d intended. Bucky flinched. Tony felt… not guilty, exactly, because there were too many other emotions swirling around inside of him for that, but he knew that Bucky didn’t deserve any ire. Bucky had been honest from day one.

He made an effort to soften his tone. “Sorry. I know you guys haven’t talked since you got back. I don’t hold this against you. It’s not your fault.”

“Yes it is,” Bucky said softly. “If I hadn’t –”

“I’m gonna stop you right there. I don’t have it in me to comfort you right now,” Tony said. Maybe that was mean, but it the truth. “So I just… I need you to _not_ feel like it’s your fault. I don’t blame you. That has to be enough, or I need you to leave.”

“I understand,” Bucky said, grief and guilt vanishing behind a mask of concern. “What else do you need?”

“I need Steve to not be so stupid.”

Bucky hesitated, then said, “I don’t think that’s possible. I’m pretty sure he’s been a stubborn idiot since the day I met him.”

Tony shook his head. The anger was still, burning hot and bright, but behind it was a wave of exhaustion. He was just so fucking _tired_. Tired of… of everything. Of the Avengers believing in the reputation and opinions of everyone else instead of in Tony himself. Of putting his own belief in other people only to be continually shot down and disappointed. Of people hiding things from him, lying to him, and betraying him.

“I don’t…” he began, and then stopped. When he spoke again, his voice was pathetically small. “I would’ve helped them look for you anyway. Even if I’d known.”

Bucky’s expression twisted for a moment, but he held back whatever he wanted to say. He said, very carefully, “I know you would’ve. You helped me with my arm even after I told you.” He nodded to his arm. 

“I wanted to build you a new one,” Tony said dully. “Then I wouldn’t have to have the arm that killed my parents in my house.”

He hadn’t meant to say it quite like that. Actually, scratch that: he’d never meant to tell Bucky that period. He hadn’t wanted Bucky to know that there was more to the offer to build him a new arm than pure altruism, because he didn’t want Bucky to feel like he had to accept. Bucky’d had seventy years of being made into a mindless slave. He deserved to have some autonomy about what went on with his own body without any pressure.

Bucky flinched again, but this time it was a full-body flinch and he kept his head down. Before Tony could say anything else Bucky was gone, sliding past Rhodey and practically fleeing the gym. Tony watched him go and was left hating himself more in that moment than he had for a long time. All the work and effort he’d put into developing a working relationship with Bucky Barnes had just gone up in smoke.

“Tones?” Rhodey said, turning back to Tony. “FRIDAY said you were talking to Steve. She said you were upset?”

Upset didn’t even begin to cover it. Tony wanted to laugh, but he held it in. Barely. “I’m all good. In the span of an hour I found out that the Avengers are all gone, Steve and Natasha knew about the Winter Soldier killing my parents and didn’t tell me for like two years, and I threw being the Winter Soldier into Bucky’s face, but yeah. All good.”

It took a moment for Rhodey to parse that out. When he did, his expression changed to a mimicry of the fury Tony had been feeling. To his credit, none of that was reflected in his voice when he said, “Would you like to get a drink?”

“Yes,” Tony said fervently. It wasn’t the healthiest coping mechanism, but Tony really didn’t care right now. He needed to not think about anything for the next several hours. He walked over to Rhodey, who grabbed his arm and pulled his hand up to look at the blood and bruises.

“After we look after your hands,” Rhodey said, frowning down at the damage Tony had done. It didn’t hurt, and Tony really didn’t care, but it was easier to give in. He nodded and let Rhodey tow him out of the gym, into the elevator and up to Tony's private floor. 

He sank down onto the couch and stared blankly at the coffee table. Rhodey fetched the first aid kit and then came to sit beside him, first disinfecting the wounds and then gently wrapping bandages around Tony's hands. Tony barely felt the sting, too preoccupied with trying to figure out how things had gotten this fucked up, and was pathetically grateful when Rhodey handed him a glass of whiskey.

Tony downed the glass with hesitation, relishing the familiar burn. "I need to talk to Coulson," he said hoarsely.

"Coulson? Why?"

"The Avengers..." Tony sighed and rubbed a weary hand over his face. "Steve's taken everyone off rotation. Natasha took off. Basically, if someone attacks right now, it's up to me and Vision. And maybe Barnes, but probably not even him. Not anymore. Maybe Bruce."

"I could -"

"Rhodey," Tony said, giving his best friend a look. "No, you can't. You shouldn't. This Wanda thing messed you up."

"She messed you up too," Rhodey pointed out.

"That's different."

Rhodey just looked extremely skeptical. "I don't see how. Besides, you retired. Why is this even your problem?"

"Because..." Tony trailed off, looking out the window. At the sky. In his imagination, his nightmares, he could see the sky darkening as aliens arrived to conquer Earth. A shudder went down his spine. 

"Tones?"

With effort, he tore his eyes away to look back at Rhodey. "Because there's no one else, that's why. Steve's removed himself from the situation, and frankly I'm not sure I'd trust his judgment even if he hadn't. The Avengers can't be a solely SHIELD-directed project. They just can't. And there's not many people who can go toe to toe with Fury or Coulson and come out on top."

"Much as I want to argue, you have a point," Rhodey said slowly. "But what does that mean for you?"

What did it matter? Tony held out his glass without answering, feeling unaccountably weary. He'd never loved Rhodey more than when Rhodey obligingly filled the glass again without comment. Tony sipped at the whiskey this time and looked back out the window, trying not to envision the weeks, if not months, of work that lay before him. The United Nations had been trying to schedule meetings for a while now. It was probably time to sit down with them and Coulson.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://tsuki-chibi.tumblr.com/).


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